Of all things thrilling and annoying

I recently had to renew my passport because, well, I had no choice. And when it comes to choices, especially as a Romanian citizen and especially when dealing with legal matters, things tend to get pretty unilateral. So I was given the option to choose between a biometric passport, valid for 5 years, or its temporary, old-fashioned cousin, valid for only one year. They both come at the staggering price of 100 euro, which is pretty unjustified, considering most EU countries ask for half the price or less. I'm quite sure you know (or at least you heard of) certain people saying that 'e-passports are the death of privacy because chips are easy to hack = so much easier to get your identity stolen'; I guess this is debatable, since biometric passports are not as easy to forge = less human trafficking, right? Or at least in theory. Actually the only certainty is that the forging of electronic passports will make some people really rich. But anyway, it's not my total loss of privacy that bothered me (since, apparently unlike most people, I am aware I'm just a number which can easily be traced, if necessary, therefore my freedom as an individual is a big fat lie anyway)- what really pissed me off was the fact that I was deliberately told not to smile.

I asked why, of course. The explanation was "it's the rule", and it came from a very cranky consulate official, so I gave up pretty fast. I later looked into the matter online and it seems that "ideally, a targeted passenger's face can be scanned electronically and compared against a database of legally obtained passport photos. Passport applicants must also sweep any hair away from their faces, place their eyeglasses on the tip of their nose, and face completely forward with a neutral expression. Smiling in passport photos can distort the subject's eyes and change the relationship between biometric points."

Damnit, biometry, why do you make my life miserable? Why can't you be more advanced? For the next five years I'm stuck with a stupid grimace on my face, because I tried to bend the rule a little and I smiled a goofy smile; now my mouth is slightly crooked and I will keep on looking stupid in my pass photo, to the sheer amusement of all those bored airport employees. But maybe this crooked smile will completely confuse the software (!!!) and, just in case I'm caught on camera trafficking cocaine through orphan kittens, they will never, ever match my REAL grimace to the one in my passport.